Selected results of an Alan Guttmacher survey of premarital sexual behavior of Americans. MCT 2006 krtdemographic demographic, krthealthmed, krtnational national, krtusnews, krt, mctgraphic, krtdiversity diversity, woman women, youth, u.s. us united states, abstain, abstinence, american, guttmacher, krt mct, marriage, premarital, public health reports, sex, sexual, behavior, study, smith, 2006, krt2006,
Selected results of an Alan Guttmacher survey of premarital sexual behavior of Americans. MCT 2006. Graphic via Tribune News Service.

Sex sparks a lot of conversation: who you have sex with, what do you do during sex, how long sex should last, etc. But the biggest subtopic of sex is whether or not you should have sex or wait until you are married. Abstinence is a big topic in sex. We first learned about it in health class, or the ‘birds and bees’ lecture we got from our parents. In their view point, abstinence was a way of keeping you from, if you were a girl getting pregnant, or for both counterparts, getting a sexually transmitted disease. In the religion aspect, you were expected to stay abstinent until you got married. For others who didn’t let health class, their parents, or religion influence them, abstinence might be something you chose to do because you were selective about who you gave yourself to.

As a person who is abstinent, I commingle with all of these subjects. I am a Christian, so I want to wait until I get married to have sex. Health class made me paranoid about something happening if I did have sex, so that contributed to the decision. However, there are times when I put aside meeting religious obligations and paranoia and think, ‘what if;’ that’s when the selectiveness come into play. I am a person who is very selective with whom I chose as a relationship partner. If I do decide to have sex with this person, I don’t want to be taken advantage of. I want me and my partner to be connected on a mental and spiritual level, which doesn’t mean you have to be a Christian for me to date you, I’m not trying to convert anyone, but I wanted us to be connected intimately, mentally, spiritually, to me that would make sex better and more special.

In society today people place so much emphasis on sex, friends with benefits, side chicks and people you just call if you want to have sex. Even if you are in a relationship, if you don’t ‘put out’ as they say in a couplet months, guys move on. I have had multiple relationships where we have broken up because I don’t have sex with the guy in a few months. I am sorry, but there is more to me than just my body. I see all over Facebook, guys who say; ‘if your girl gives you head on a regular, wife her up,’ there is more to a female than just the ability to give a blow job. I feel like women today as belittled to just being a good sex partner. There is so much pressure put on sex and a person’s talents and abilities during sex, if you aren’t ‘good’ there is no need for you. Women are smart, intelligent, hard-working, go-getting people and to be limited to just our sexually abilities is ludicrous.

It’s not just men who limit women, we limit ourselves, I have seen some when who spend all their time having sex with multiple guys and bragging about their ‘sex game.’ What is you career game looking like? What are you doing to better yourself academically and professionally?  As a women I understand the pressure we are under to look good on a daily basis, dress well, have that; ‘hour-glass’ shape, flat stomach and fat butt, but who cares what you look like if you are an unemployed idiot who 20 guys can say they have ‘ran through?’ I am not here to say; ‘be abstinent,’ I am here to say be more than just your body and sex drive. Focus more on your education and future career goals. We have the rest of our lives to have a ‘sex life.’ So, forget the pressure and stereotypical expectations and focus on being a better, successful and more productive you.