Everyone has sex, but everyone has sex differently. Some may like it quick, some take their time, some have a list of limitations and some push the limitations. We never know exactly what the other person is into until it happens. We then find out if it is what you expected or not. The most important thing is to practice safe sex when boundaries are involved.
As mentioned before, everyone has sex differently. One person may not be into what the other person is into and that should never be compromised. There have been times where some people just go with it because they do not want to feel some sort of embarrassment in front of their partner. But there are a few ways to practice safe sex without having to compromise one’s own limits.
We are adults, so the best way is to have a conversation before having sex. I assume the majority of everyone sexts each other sometimes. With a bit of sexting, you can follow up with questions to find out the other person’s likes and dislikes, what they are into, what they have done before and what they are not willing to do. The easiest way is mainly discussing the dislikes. Men might prefer discussing sex limits beforehand since they tend to be straightforward.
The other way of communicating limits is during the moment of the action. If you skipped the conversation and jumped right into it and realized you have limitations that could potentially be crossed, quickly come up with a safe word. Keep it simple, like Kevin Hart’s safe word “pineapple.”
Another good way for an in-the-moment situation is to switch positions. Everything may be going well in bed until you start switching over to a position you may not be comfortable with. A good way to help is to switch back to a different position or offer to do something else you are more comfortable with. By experience, this has worked for me and I didn’t have to deal with any awkwardness. In all honesty, I doubt the guy even noticed I switched positions for a certain reason.
Last, but certainly not least, is making sure you are with the right person. Man or woman, always make sure that you are with someone who will respect your limits. Do not let anyone force you to do anything. Do not let anyone hurt you. Do not let anyone take advantage of you.
If a person has the potential to do any of the above, do not give them the time or day. They are not good for you and situations can go very wrong as we have seen plenty of times on the news. There are so many other people on and off campus that will not put you in a difficult situation. Sex is great, it is just not worth it to get hurt.
We normally discuss safe sex in terms of using condoms and birth control and preventing diseases but not as much in terms of one’s own boundaries. It is important to note that everyone is different and that you must be careful who you intend to have sex with. Not everyone is as they seem to be, and because of that, we fall into difficult situations we sometimes cannot get out of. Having awareness and more discussions of safe sex in terms of limits is very important. It goes for men and women. No matter who you are, having that understanding can keep you safe and comfortable during sex.