Relationships can be complicated because every person is different, and every relationship is different. There is no exact formula for a successful relationship and there is no such thing as a perfect one either. Although there are perfect relationships in a sense. See where it’s complicated? But I will explain it all.
As college students we stress a lot, so most of the time we go to our partners to relieve some of that stress in different ways like going to the movies, having drinks, or sex. Yet, every relationship still goes through some problem at some point.
We tend to miscommunicate easily by interpreting the other persons original meanings differently. For instance, I would say to him “hey babe, want me to come over to chill?” and he would say “if you want that’s fine.” Oh that really use to kill me because to me your saying you don’t care whether I go over or not and if you don’t care I don’t need to go over and if you did care you would just say yes because then that shows it does matter if I go over. I bet many of you understood that and had the same thought process before. To him in his mind just means that I can make that decision and he wouldn’t be upset if I didn’t go over but wouldn’t mind if I do did go over.
Miscommunication is very common, so it is best to never assume. If something isn’t clear, or you start to assume, then you should take a step back and simply ask a question. You ask a question to get an answer so why not directly ask your partner what they mean. Also, you can ask questions about anything because it is important to get the true information directly from your partner than get upset or stressed over an assumption that most of the time is wrong.
It’s also best to communicate without yelling and take your time to discuss the problem allowing you more time to think and make better decisions. It also makes it easier to listen to each other which could lead to a compromise or solution. Keep in mind that no matter what there will always be some sort of disagreement and its healthy if it does not end up harming one another or go too far. You know it’s real when you understand that there will be some disagreement, but that will not change your feelings for that person because after a disagreement, making up afterwards feels amazing in bed too. That’s what I mean by having a perfect relationship with imperfections.
I can’t tell you how many times my boyfriend and I argue, we do try to avoid arguments, but if it happens we deal with it at the moment and make up afterwards, because we know at the end of the day we love each other and we are not going to let an argument break us up because that’s silly. Now if there is cheating and/or abuse, I personally do not tolerate that. It’s been done to me before and I left my ex and never looked back because if there’s true love between two people, that shouldn’t happen. If you get hurt that way you leave the person without a thought and never look back because you can always do better, and I ended up doing better. My boyfriend is very intelligent, handsome, graduated from UNC Charlotte, and so much more, while my ex is the complete opposite.
Trust is very hard especially if you’ve been in relationships before that didn’t work out. Having trust takes time and that’s very common too. I had trust issues with my boyfriend and I put him through a lot for a few years, but he still stuck around. With my past I was lied to and cheated on from the very beginning of my relationship with my ex that lasted 3 years, so I came out of it with serious trust issues. I did learn something that I feel it would have helped me if I thought of it sooner. I am not saying to trust everyone, but I learned “trust your partner until they give you a reason not to.” If he or she has not done anything, then don’t worry and enjoy the relationship. Now if you have proof of cheating or lying, not assuming if they are, then don’t trust that person and you have the choice to leave. Simple!
I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we are very happy. We have been through a lot and trusting each other took a lot of time. We used to argue a lot because we had trust issues, I would assume, I was insecure and afraid he would do something, but the thing is we never gave up on each other, because we knew that we wanted to be together. We have never cheated or lied to each other just had some differences. I knew he was the one for me and I wanted just him, and he felt the same way. We take it day by day making each other happy and being there for one another. You just need to find what works for you and the person you’re with. You’ll know how to take my advice and make it work for your relationship by knowing its worth.