After Thorgy Thor’s not-so surprising elimination last week, the girls are in full All Stars swing in just how cutthroat the competition is becoming. After elimination, BenDeLaCreme revealed to the girls who she would’ve eliminated had she won the lip sync against Shangela, to which she reveals Thorgy’s name on the lipstick. Normally, this is the end of the conversation and the queens move on, but the girls harp on how and why the girls made the decisions they did, and of course, of all people, Milk has to step in and give her opinion about how much she loved Thorgy over Kennedy Davenport, and that she would’ve sent Trinity home had she been in the top like she imagined herself to be. The tension between Kennedy and Milk in that moment could’ve cut concrete, and the claws of All Stars 3 are officially out.

Without a mini-challenge this week, the girls dive head first into their maxi challenge: “The Bitchelor,” a spoof of the über-popular reality show “The Bachelor,” in which the girls will all embody an exaggerated stereotype of the many girls often seen on “The Bachelor.” Aja is the needy girl, Kennedy is the party girl, Trixie Mattel is the fake bitch, Milk is the psycho stalker, Bebe Zahara Benet is the virgin, BenDeLaCreme is the cougar, and Shangela and Chi Chi Devayne are the polyamorous couple. The girls must also go on two-on-one dates, with Aja & Kennedy, Trxie & Milk, Bebe & Ben, and Shangela & Chi Chi pairing up. As the challenge begins, Bebe and Ben already have disagreements when Bebe decides that her “virgin” character will be that of a African princess looking for a husband to honor. Ben finds this to be a stretch of the character, but knowing Bebe, I found the idea to be divine. Chi Chi and Shangela also struggle a bit in finding their characterizations for their couple, and how they can sync without overpowering one another as to bring the entirety of their performance down. Chi Chi is not an actor, nor a comedy queen, so one has to wonder if she can succeed here or not.

In the challenge, with Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman’s bachelor, first up is Bebe’s entrance as the virginal African princess, while Bebe doesn’t go above and beyond any sort of crazy act, but she does do the character at hand very well. It’s funny, yet subtle, and around these girls, subtle might be good, but it doesn’t stand out. Ben reveals her over-the-top cougar, which is easily one of the best characterizations of the whole challenge. It’s raunchy, hilarious, absolutely ridiculous and even a bit disturbing at times, but it’s the culmination of everything that makes Ben’s humor wonderful and she nails it once again. This is the first challenge where Trixie really shines wonderfully, but is brought down heavily by Milk and her dumbass antics. Playing the Fake Bitch, Trixie’s characterizations of that girl we all know and love to hate is impeccable. Her humor is perfectly timed and the slight reads she slips into her conversations are uproariously hilarious. It’s such a shame that Milk’s mediocre-at-best psycho stalker took up all of Trixie’s talking room. Milk’s stalker isn’t the worst thing ever, but after a while, it goes off the rails in perpetuating the same damn thing to such an extreme that it’s hard to watch. Aja is okay as the needy girl, but she blends into the background so much I actually forgot she was there. But it’s Kennedy’s party girl that steals the show here, as I have a few friends like this that are exactly what Kennedy put forth. There’s a level of playful depth with this character that Kennedy obviously put a lot of time and effort into and it pays off completely. Chi Chi and Shangela also fade into the background with their characters, if only because they don’t really have much to work with, with Chi Chi doing much worse than Shangela in almost every way. Even then, Shangela’s energy levels can’t save this ship from sinking incredibly quickly.

Back in the workroom, as they prepare for their runway of “Wigs on wigs on wigs,” the girls discuss who they think is going to be in the bottom. Ben thinks the bottom three is going to be Aja, Bebe and Chi Chi, which Shangela disagrees with partially, substituting Aja for Milk in her prediction, which doesn’t really phase Milk. On the other side of the workroom, Aja, Chi Chi and Kennedy all discuss Milk at the mirror, with Kennedy taking offense to how quickly Milk threw her under the bus, when she thought her and Milk were close. There’s a definite rift between Milk and Kennedy now that probably won’t be able to be filled.

Mutha herself, RuPaul. Photo courtesy of VH1.

On the runway, the girls looks were as follows:

BenDeLaCreme: Look would’ve been fine with just the first reveal, but the transformation of the dress into a skirt made of hair was wondrous. Toot.
Bebe Zahara Benet: It’s fine. Nice style on both, if just a little overdone. Soft toot.
Trixie Mattel: Love the aesthetic. The wig reveal wasn’t jaw-dropping, but it’s still a very solid look. Toot.
Milk: Poorly constructed, oddly fitting and just really unfinished looking. Boot.
Aja: Transcendent, beautiful, creative, wonderful, with just the perfect twist of fugly. Shoot.
Kennedy Davenport: Beautiful gown. Hair started strong, took a sharp dip, then redeemed itself with the final reveal. Toot.
Chi Chi Devayne: A softer, more beautiful side to Chi Chi we haven’t seen before. Two totally different looks changed only by a hair reveal. Toot.
Shangela: Absolutely batshit insane. Everything one can want from a Shangela look. Toot.

In judging, the girls are all commended for their performances and looks, but definite frontrunners emerge quickly above the rest. Bebe and Shangela are deemed safe off the bat. Ben is highly commended for the amount of layers put into her cougar character and how hilarious she is. Trixie is also highly praised for her character, but admittedly got lost when Milk constantly felt the need to speak over her at every turn. Immediately after, Milk is criticized for being one-note, unwilling to share the stage with Trixie, and for her runway look looking unprofessional. Aja is highly commended on her runway look, but is chastised for misunderstanding her character in the challenge completely. Kennedy is lauded with praise, both on her runway look and her performance in the challenge, receiving what could be the best critiques of the week. Chi Chi, however, is praised for her runway look and going outside of the box of Chi Chi, but highly criticized for doing little to nothing in her challenge character. In the end, Ben and Kennedy are deemed top two of the week, while a bottom three is instilled with Aja, Chi Chi and Milk. It’s almost comical just how well Ben is doing at this point, having made the top three each week since the start, this is an unprecedented run for Ben in a way that no one could’ve expected from any queen.

Backstage, Milk complains again about how the judges aren’t getting her drag and how unfair it is for her. Kennedy doesn’t feel the need to have individual sessions with the bottom three, as she’s already made up her mind. Meanwhile, Ben holds interviews with the three girls, and while Milk complains even more to Ben about how every other girl should be in the bottom except her, Chi Chi completely gives up. Chi Chi begins to see herself as not worthy to be in All Stars, wishing she had held out for All Stars 4 instead, and tells Ben to basically eliminate her cryptically. Back on stage, Ben and Kennedy lip sync to Lorde’s “Green Light,” and I’ll be honest: I was underwhelmed. Neither of the girls really brought it to the song, instead trying to convey the emotion of the song as opposed to the performative nature of it. With that, Kennedy did have more expression in her face above Ben, which makes it very fair that she would be the one to win this week’s lip sync. When tasked to eliminate one of the bottom three, while I was sure it was going to be Chi Chi, Kennedy surprised the world by eliminating Milk. On one hand, Milk did do mediocre in every aspect this week, but Chi Chi did so poorly in the challenge that it only seemed natural for her to go home…and then Milk starts talking. This is the point when I realized that Kennedy, while she might’ve done it out of personal malice, made the right decision. Milk is far too cocky and delusional to compete in a competition where she receives actual criticism, and if someone can’t take that, even after being eliminated, then she has to go. Bye.

Next week is Snatch Game, the most important day of the year. Be ready.

“The B*tchelor”: 4.5/5

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Hunter is the current editor-in-chief for The Niner Times. He is a senior Communications major who wishes he were a dog and wants to pet your dog if you have one. Hunter has been a member of the North Carolina Film Critics Association (NCFCA) since August 2015. Hunter has been the editor-in-chief since May 2016. Please do not hesitate to shoot him an e-mail at editor@ninertimes.com for any questions or concerns and he'll be sure to get back to you ASAP.

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