Op-Ed: Level, Flatten, and Roll

A proposal for a universally beneficial construction plan on campus

| April 3, 2016
Levine Hall under construction. Photo by Erin Cortez.

Levine Hall under construction. Photo by Erin Cortez.

Man, is UNC Charlotte going places. This notion is an ever constant one, a belief that refuses to depart the minds of students frenziedly caught up in the rat race of achieving and achieving well. A bulwark for science and engineering, along with other blue-chip institutions like business and nursing, Charlotte is filled to the brim with potential at-large. To illustrate just how straight the compass of success points, look around campus and take in every construction project taking place.

Honestly it’s impossible to ignore. The Craver Road and Bridge development project is finished, thankfully lessening the traffic it created when the build was first underway. The city’s vaunted light rail system is, for lack of better words, making ‘progresses’ connecting to the school. Just because it’s not happening at the rate we would like, I can at least say it’s not going backwards- I’ll extend them that much credit. With the persuasion of a 90 million dollar science building after the education bond was approved in the primaries, to be built on campus, there is no denying UNCC’s real acronym: Under New Construction Constantly.

I feel compelled to say I should be grateful for all this investment to the school. I should embrace the change and look forward to the completed product, because it’s for the betterment of everyone. This sentiment of collective coalescence warrants group hugs in the quad, hand-holding and kumbaya singing at the union. Togetherness under materialistic things!

Instead, rather, I feel strongly compelled to allocate all the time and investment – including the newly bestowed 90 million – to one goal and one goal only: flattening out campus. Seriously, why must my calves cry, wince in pain when the petty act of walking to class turns into a strenuous trek not unlike hiking the Himalayas or the Andes. These boots weren’t meant for walking, just looking really, really cool.

Also, I happen to be the best person I know at sweating. Just ask anyone who knows me. I do it extremely well, sometimes without even trying and it intensifies when grueling hills must be conquered whilst the sun beats down on my back. I would still sweat profusely if the school was leveled to a comfortable 180 degrees, though I’m not sure my spare clothes would be needed to change into before class.

My idea will never be put into fruition, however. It’s unfortunate, because unlike science buildings or that weird-looking art sculpture just finished, a flat campus is something everybody will use. Think of it as the greatest, truest form of a public good ever conceptualized by the human spirit. This is not to endorse public funding for the leveling, I’m against that, but if money is going to be spent, it might as well be spent wisely.

Frankly, I just don’t like exerting physical exercise. I’m probably undermining a few benefits that development incites, but marching is a bore. Best to remove the spatial and physical obstacles obscuring progress, like the countless stairs and hills, so we can all get to where we are going with more brisk convenience. Because if Charlotte’s campus were to be flattened out, man would it make going places easier.

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Category:Opinion, Student Life

Comments (1)

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  1. Someone with common sense says:

    The level of idiocy in this article makes me sad for our future generation. Did you even do any research or have any common sense?

    1. The science building will be a building for *all* freshmen as they will be taking their freshman level science classes there.

    2. The statue was donated by the Belk, not paid for by any tax payer money

    3. You really have zero idea how much it would cost in money and inconvenience to “flatten” a campus. Staggering amounts. What would you do with all the buildings that are higher that a flat ground campus or lower, for that matter…you can’t raise them or lower them. Please tell me how you would lower Atkins library and the Student Union to the same ground level as the new bridge?

    4. Take a bus if your calves hurt so much, John.

    Idiot.